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The Team

Jon Mackenzie

Supports: Leeds

Position: Deep-Lying Playmaker

Jon Mackenzie is a man who regularly references Wittgenstein in his football analysis and yet claims to dislike BBC’s ‘Sherlock’ as it’s apparently too ‘up it’s own arse’. Renowned as the ‘thinking man’s football pundit’, Jon spends a great deal of his time applying obscure philosophy to football and calling people morons on Twitter. He is in a long-term relationship with another member of the team, but Patrick prefers to keep their love-life private.

Robin Sarfas

Supports: ArsenalIMG_3633 (2)


Like most Arsenal fans, Robin doesn’t particularly like Arsenal. He finds greater joy in the many defensive, corrupt games offered by Serie A. Speaking of defensive and corrupt, Robin is partial to using the podcast as a means to slander the ‘good’ name of Will Geeson.

Simon ‘Paddy’ Patterson

20160303_165309 (1) (2)Supports: Reading

Position: Squash Court

Paddy is more often spotted in the team Whatsapp group these days. His commitment to squash and making inappropriate jokes means that he has exited from the centre stage of recording. He remains, however, at the very core of the podcast and his editing of Patrick’s radical political statements is utterly essential to the continued publication of our content and Patrick’s freedom.

Patrick McCloskey


Supports: Manchester United

Position: Number 10

Paddy’s devotion to the podcast is not in doubt. He frequently proclaims his willingness to lay down his life for the cause of questions which no one is asking. When talking, Paddy emits a high frequency sound – perceptible only to Irish ears – which communicates anti-English/pro-Alex Ferguson messages.

Ceylon Hickman

whatsapp-image-2017-03-02-at-11-31-06Supports: Liverpool

Position: Box to box midfielder

Ceylon likes Steven Gerrard. She has yet to offer a satisfactory reason for doing so. Unlike the rest of the team, Ceylon has some degree of actual footballing success to her name. She describes herself as Luton’s Dimitar Berbatov: superlatively talented, but with a flamboyant temperament. Upon hearing that Luton had its own Dimitar Berbatov, Paul Nuttall said, “my name’s Paul Nuttall of UKIPs and I think the brightest and best Bulgarians should stay in Bulgaria and concentrate on copying Stewart Lee jokes in Bulgaria”.

Will Geeson

whatsapp-image-2017-03-02-at-16-51-54Supports: Good Wholesome Living

Position: On the (Front) Bench

Will has a tendency for moral absolutism. He often uses the podcast to proclaim woollen cardigans and universal choir-membership as the fundamental basis of any prosperous society. Upon the terraces of Elland Road, however, his traditionalism is dissolved by the blood-and-thunder style of Pontus Jansson and Geeson, with a Leeds crest on his heart and a pint in his hand, finds true meaning.

Scott McGrory

Supports: Manchester United

Position: Deep-Lying Playmaker

Past Legends:

Tom ‘Migsy’ McMinigal

Supports: Spurs

Position: Deep-Lying Playmaker

Nico Restrepo

Supports: Nacional

Position: Deep-Lying Playmaker

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